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Explore the reality behind cloud native portability promises in this 19-minute conference talk that debunks the myth of truly portable applications. Examine how containerized applications become inadvertently locked to specific cloud providers despite using supposedly agnostic technologies like containers and YAML configurations. Discover the subtle dependencies that bind your applications to particular cloud ecosystems, including non-translatable IAM systems, provider-specific load balancers disguised as standard ingress controllers, and seemingly innocent object storage integrations. Learn through real-world examples and architectural patterns how these hidden dependencies transform cloud migration into expensive, complex projects. Understand why "cloud-agnostic" solutions often deliver suboptimal performance across all platforms and calculate the true costs of maintaining genuine portability beyond simple containerization. Distinguish between scenarios where portability provides genuine value versus situations where it becomes costly performance theater, helping you make informed architectural decisions for your cloud native applications.