This conference talk at Devoxx Greece 2025 explores the deceptive world of benchmarking in software development. Discover how to critically analyze poorly written benchmarks as Georgios Andrianakis dissects common fallacies and psychological tricks used to mislead readers. Learn practical tools from performance engineering and philosophy to uncover the truth behind benchmark results and develop skeptical pragmatism when evaluating performance claims. After 47 minutes, walk away with the ability to identify weak points in benchmarks or, if you're feeling mischievous, understand how benchmarking can be manipulated to convince others of performance claims.