This 41-minute conference talk from Black Hat presents the annual Network Operations Center (NOC) report, featuring soul-crushing statistics that both puzzle and entertain security professionals year after year. Discover the tools and techniques used to set up, stabilize, and secure the Black Hat conference network, along with the improvements implemented over the past year. Gain insights into humorous network activity patterns that reveal how security professionals behave on open WiFi networks. The presentation offers valuable lessons for network security practitioners while highlighting the ironic behaviors sometimes exhibited by security experts themselves.